Observations
patternscommunicationpedagogyattachmentauthentic-relating
In user research interviews, 7 out of 10 participants described a pursue-withdraw dynamic in their most recent unresolved conflict. The withdrawing partner consistently reported feeling "flooded" — unable to process the volume and intensity of incoming communication.
The sequence matters: players who skip to Withholds without first developing the noticing and appreciation capacities often retraumatise rather than connect. Safety must be established experientially before risk is invited.